Back At It Again...
Wednesday, February 22nd 2023
Wow, we've almost gona another two whole months before I add anything else to the site. Wild how time flies like that. Thankfully, you're all still here with me on this ride. You haven't left, right? Good, I was getting just a tad bit worried that you abandoned me for a second. Wouldn't want that happening, now would we? So the last two months have been what you'd expect from me. Nothing more, nothing less. I spent the first few weeks of January kind of out of it. I wasn't paying attention to the things that I should have been and that loss of focus made it hard to achieve anything during that time. Eventually, I pulled myself from the haze and started looking for jobs again. Y'know, that thing I have an entire post about on this site that I really don't like doing and makes me want to pull my hair out? That thing. After about 3 weeks of searching I'm starting to think that there is nothing out there for me. Of course, as soon as that thought enters my mind I start hearing back from a couple jobs. One of them offered me a position and, needing the money, I gladly accepted. Now, I have a pattern with these things where I like to take a job that I'm actually not ready for and then quit it almost immediately. Yeah, that happened again. Let me tell ya'll why that was the case.
On my first day at the new job I saw the manager blow up on another employee, telling her that if she didn't change her attitude that her "sorry ass" wouldn't be working there anymore. I'm pretty sure this lady was crying after how the manager talked to her. It was wild. Then he just came over to me for training as if nothing had happened. On top of that, there were a few comments made by the manager and other staff that just seemed extremely homophobic and misogynistic. That's not going to fly around me in the work place but who am I going to complain to when the manager is the one making the comments? And even if all of that hadn't been happening the job itself was enough to make me want to never go back. It was back breaking physical labor for $15/hr, which isn't the worst pay but for lugging 50lb bags around all day, that's not much. Then there's the cherry to complete the sundae - I had two major breakdowns trying to leave for work over the weekend. After this I just realized it wasn't sustainable for me to be working this job anymore. I promptly texted the manager that I would no longer be attending my shifts and that the work environment just wasn't for me.
That's about it in terms of what happened over the last couple of months. Obvoiusly there was Christmas and New Year's, and those were both pretty great times. They were just so long ago that writing about them now seems like I'd be missing a lot of detail. Who knows, maybe I'll make posts going over the holidays at a later date. Right now my brain is stuck in overdrive mode, just wondering what the fuck I'm going to be doing for money if I don't have a regular job. And looking to do stuff from home isn't going the best right now. It's just funny how half the articles out there with "realistic" work from home ideas are things like "Start a Blog", "Monetize Your YouTube Channel", or "Start a Podcast." Like, yeah those are ways to make money at home but they take a ton of time and investment. You can't just start a blog overnight and start making money from it. You have to develop it into something sustainable that people are going to want to come and read before you can start just plastering adds all over the site. And I don't think I have any way of monetizing this blog anyway, not that that was ever my idea with this in the first place. Especially since this blog is more of a month to month journal, as opposed to a daily post about some random listicle. Nothing against listicles, I actually really enjoy those, but that's not what we do here. This is more of a stream of consciousness meets a small amount of formality. Actually, I take that back. There isn't anything formal about this, is there? It really is more like a journal than anything, as I was saying.
So, where does all of this leave me right now? Well, I'm still looking for ways to make money, though not in the same ways that I have done in the past. Where as I'd usually start looking for jobs right where I left off, I am trying to figure out other things I can do to make money that doesn't require me leaving the house or working full-time hours. There's just something about those two things that really gets me anxious and I just can't deal with that amount of stress in my day-to-day. There are plenty of options out there for me that are in much less toxic workspaces and so many different work from home positions it is crazy. Ideally, I'd have a part-time work from home help desk position. That'd be fucking sick. But I don't think a lot of the work from home positions are part time unfortunately. I'd probably be more open to a full-time position if I didn't have to leave my house every day though. Fuck, I just wish I could make money typing blog posts up like this. That'd be frickin' rad. Not have to worry about heading into an office or responding to some manager. I'd love that. Maybe some day I'll be able to have my wild ass writing pay the bills. I mean, probably not but I can at least dream. Anyway, I've rambled on long enough, as per usual, so I'll wrap things up here. Hope everyone reading has a lovely day and until next time - goodbyyyyyeeee!