Discovering My Love For Ecstatic Dance
Monday, November 24th, 2025
Ever since I was a child dancing was a part of my life. Not just in the normal sense, like how one might wiggle to "The Wheels on the Bus", but also in a much more formal way. My mother was a dance teacher and her mother owned her own dance studio. So, from the time I was able to stand on two feet I was already enrolled in tap, jazz, and ballet classes. Although it wasn't necessarily my first choice to take dance lessons, I did enjoy being a part of something performative. Given multiple chances to quit, I chose to stick it out until I was about eleven years old. Near the end of my dancing "career" I was taking piano lessons with my ballet teacher on the weekend, developing enough skill to read sheet music and understand basic music theory. With a burgeoning interest in both playing instruments and performing for an audience, I started my journey into the world of live music.
Attending concerts became one of my favorite past-times during high school, a time in which I also picked up playing guitar, bass, and drums. After graduating I went on to play drums in a few bands. I'd always be writing my own music while playing for these bands, usually solo piano stuff. Within the last five years I started dabbling in electronic music production, which also spearheaded my deep dive listening to EDM. I'd mostly listened to prog metal bands before that, though I can't discount hearing some of the more popular electronic music from across the myriad of sub-genres. However, it was 2019-2020 when I first started wanting to attend EDM concerts. Due to COVID restrictions tightening right around this time, it wouldn't be until 2022, when I attended Electric Forest, that I finally experienced a live EDM show. Since then I've been to different concerts, raves, and even volunteered at a festival, learning more about the culture and community surrounding it. This past year I discovered a way of enjoying electronic music (and moving to it) that is unique from any other - ecstatic dance.
If you haven't heard of this practice or what it entails I'll give you a little rundown. Originating from conscious dance communities on the big island of Hawaii, ecstatic dance at its core is a free-form movement practice hosted by a professional DJ or, more traditionally, accompanied by live acoustic instruments. While there is an emphasis on moving to the music in a way that feels good, as opposed to needing to look good, ecstatic dance also focuses on dropping out of your head and into your body. Fully existing in your heart space and tapping into your raw, authentic self, allowing it to flow onto the dance floor. To accomplish this there are guidelines that must be followed in every ecstatic dance container. Dancers are not to speak to each other, nor should whoever is facilitating/DJing the event. No phones or pictures are allowed in the space. And most importantly you should show up as you are - no substances or alcohol. Following these simple guidelines allows for everyone to have the best experience possible, creating the right energy for the container. Now that I've given you a brief introduction to what ecstatic dance is (I have seen it abbreviated as ED, but I associate that with erectile disfunction. I'll be avoiding this specifically for that reason) I can finally talk about how I ended up finding a local community of dancers and how absolutely life changing it has been.
Earlier this year I went through a divorce, during which my ex-wife attended an ecstatic dance our mutual friend was hosting. I had been invited to these events on Facebook for a bit now and had always been interested in attending one. My social anxiety always seemed to get in the way though, as the idea of meeting a bunch of people I didn't know that well was a little daunting. However, my ex ended up telling me about how much fun she had at the dance she went to, going on to say how much I would love it too. So, over the summer I finally pulled down the barrier a little bit and took a plunge into my first ecstatic dance. And I'm so fucking glad I did. The event was held in the back yard of Earth & Ether, two beautiful souls that host gatherings focused on the healing power of human connection. Upon arriving I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. There were quite a lot of people in attendance, but everyone had wonderful energy, helping to ease some of my anxiety. Before the actual dancing began the DJ facilitating the event, M.E., gathered everyone around for an opening circle. We formed our human ring, went over the guidelines expected of us, and each shared a word or two about the energy we were bringing with us that day. After this it was time for the music to begin!!
Since it was a hot summer day and we were outside in the yard, the hosts Nala & Sudo had brought out a bucket of water balloons, water guns, a sprinkler, and even a slip n' slide for folks to indulge in. This was an all ages event, so there were families with kids dancing around, as well as solo individuals like myself. I feel like I got super lucky with this being my first ecstatic dance experience. Usually an ecstatic dance set will start softer, with more ambient, low-tempo music that eventually builds up in beats per minute until things get into full swing, taking you on a ride at high-tempos before slowly bringing you back down to relax. This was the exact feeling I had on that day. Running around, moving my body like a fucking amoeba, throwing water balloons at people, getting soaked in return, standing on a rock like a ninja...it was most fun I had in years. And I wasn't drinking or taking drugs! What?!?! Blasphemy! After an hour and a half of pure blissful movement, we all took a moment to slow our breath before joining for the closing circle. We took a bit more time to share when going around, maybe talking about anything that came up for us during the dance or how our energy might differ from what we came with. Once the closing circle was finished there was time for people to mingle and chat as we grabbed our belongings, preparing ourselves to return to the world. I drove home that day with the biggest smile across my face because I knew what I had discovered - I finally found the community I'd been looking for. Where I can be who I am and get the fuck out of my head for a little bit. Where I can be accepted. It felt so powerful and I knew from that moment I couldn't miss another ecstatic dance there.
Going back to Earth & Ether every month for these events has helped me in so many incredible ways. From giving me a place to unleash my wildest dance moves, to introducing me to new friends and opportunities. Through attending monthly ecstatic dances I have allowed myself to be more free. To truly express myself without caring what other people think. People will always have opinions on the things that you do. I can't let that stop me from being who I am. Putting myself out there regardless of who might see it or what they might say. At the end of the day, I know the people who want to be around me will be, and the best way to find them is by just being me.